Consent Is a must: Why We Must Speak Clearly About Rape

Recently we’ve had trending stories which has once again pushed the issue of rape into the spotlight. While the attention is important, the way we discuss rape matters just as much as the discussion itself. Constantly, misinformation, victim-blaming, and silence protect perpetrators (rapist or abusers) while survivors are left unheard. People tend to shift their attention from the main issue on ground when an issue of rape or sexual abuse is spoken about it reported. It is necessary to speak clearly, responsibly, and firmly, irrespective of your gender, rape is violence, and consent is non-negotiable. We cannot say this enough.

According to the legal dictionary, rape is the crime of sexual intercourse without consent and accomplished through force, threat of violence or intimidation. Rape is any form of sexual penetration or sexual act carried out without a person’s voluntary and informed consent. It is not defined by location, clothing, relationship status, or time of day. It can happen between strangers, acquaintances, partners, or even spouses.

Consent is the central issue, NO IS NO. True consent must be freely given, informed, specific, and ongoing. Silence is not consent, fear is not consent, pressure is not consent. A person who is intoxicated, unconscious, threatened, or manipulated cannot give valid consent, a child cannot give consent (that is anyone below 18 years cannot give consent). Agreeing once does not mean agreeing forever, and being in a relationship does not remove a person’s right to say no. Consent can be withdrawn at any time, and that decision must be respected immediately.

Some people believe rape is mostly committed by strangers in dark places, when in reality many assaults are carried out by people known to the survivor. Abusers live amongst families, friends, neighbours and even religious centres and schools.Some blame clothing or behaviour, when responsibility lies only with the abuser. Others assume that if there was no physical injury or loud resistance, then it was not rape. In truth, fear, shock, and trauma often cause people to freeze rather than fight back. These myths do real damage because they shift blame away from offenders and onto survivors which is bad. Once a case of rape is raised, the first question shouldn’t be about The clothing but The evil minded abuser.

The impact of rape goes far beyond the moment of assault. Survivors may experience long-term emotional trauma, PTSD, anxiety, depression, sleep disturbances, and difficulty trusting others, Some victims even go as far as committing suicide, lives have been lost before now. Social stigma can make the pain heavier, especially in communities where survivors are doubted or shamed. Recovery is not linear, and each survivor’s response is valid. One of the most misunderstood realities is why many survivors do not report rape. Reasons include fear of not being believed, fear of retaliation, shame, family pressure, social judgment, and lack of confidence in justice systems especially in Africa, which is very unfortunate. When society responds with suspicion and blame pushing instead of support, silence becomes safer than speaking.

Ending rape pandemic requires collective responsibility, communities must stop victim blaming language and attitudes. Schools and organizations should teach consent clearly and early, children should know about this at an early stage. Media and online users must avoid spreading harmful stereotypes or news about victims. Do not use the issue of rape to gather followers, use it to get justice for victims. Institutions must take allegations seriously and ensure safe reporting pathways. As an individual, everyone has a role. Learn what consent truly means. Challenge jokes or statements that trivialize sexual violence, support survivors by listening without interrogation or blame, share accurate information. Teach respect for boundaries in everyday interactions, allow them breathe.

RAPE IS NOT THE VICTIM’S FAULT. No outfit, location, relationship, or past decision gives anyone the right to violate another person. Clear understanding, open conversation, and firm accountability are essential steps toward prevention. Speaking up responsibly is not just advocacy , it is protection for others and dignity for survivors. Together we can make the world a safer place by preventing rape.

Talk Africa NG| Esther Ojoma Sule.